Answers To Two Common Questions…
I get different variations of two questions so often, that I’m going to address them both quickly.
1) What if she has a boyfriend?
Say “Next” and find yourself a woman that doesn’t have a boyfriend. I personally don’t think it’s worth the hassle, energy, or effort. Plus, I don’t like to be the guy that ruins relationships. And I personally don’t like to date women who have no integrity (think about it). So just find a girl that’s single… and chances are that someday soon the one you like will be single… and you’ll be more attractive because you’re dating other women.
2) I have this girl that’s been a friend for 47 years, and how do I get her to feel attracted to me?
Start making fun of her more, tease her about things, and let her know the details about the women that you’re dating. Call her less often, and MOST IMPORTANTLY… if you’re planning on getting together with a friend, be ready to risk the relationship forever, as involvement often leads to problems which damage relationships for life. Much better in most cases to find someone new…
I have a question. There’s this girl that I really like, and she tells me that she just wants to be friends, and I was just wondering, what can I do to make her change her mind?
This is a great question, and I get it a lot. I think of this as a much different question than the above, as it’s usually something that can be fixed. Here’s how: If most of the women that you meet are telling you that they want to be “just friends”, then it means that YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING TO MAKE THEM ALL FEEL THAT WAY. The good news is that if you’re doing something to make them feel that way, then you can start doing something different to make them feel ATTRACTED to you instead.
You’re probably not going to be able to do much for the ones that are already telling you that they want to just “be friends”, but here’s what to do in the future:
STOP ACTING LIKE A “FRIEND” WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM!
If you act like a “nice, friendly guy” then a woman is NOT going to feel attracted to you. What do I mean by “nice” and “friendly”?
I mean don’t give her too many compliments, don’t act shy and don’t smother her with attention. Don’t call her every five minutes. Don’t talk with a tentative, weak voice. Don’t go far out of your way to be accommodating too early. Don’t tell her that you have feelings for her before you’ve gotten intimate with her. DO tease her.
DO act Cocky & Funny around her. DO end phone conversations and meetings first. DO act a little bit too confident. DO use The Kiss Test early on in the relationship. DO speak with strength and confidence.
Are you with me?
If you’re getting a common response from most of the women you meet, then the common denominator is YOU and the way you’re acting. So keep working on it until you get the results you want.
I am a good looking athletic guy. When single I have never had trouble getting dates. I use the cocky, funny and mysterious rap. I have been in and out of a relationship with the same wonderful and challenging woman for nine (I know its ridiculous) years. I know that I want to spend my life with this woman, but she has lost her interest and me and says she thinks of me as a brother. She complains that I am not touchy feely enough, but then rejects me when I try to be so. I am so confused by what she says and what she means. I know that I lost my edge and she knows that I love her unconditionally. I know that she fell for the cocky guy and said that she wanted to turn me into a teddy bear. I tried unsuccessfully to do that for a while and now that I want to really do it and think that I actually could, she does not want it from me now.
My neediness and smothering have become a burden to her. But it seems unnatural and insincere to play games “hard to get” or try and make her jealous. Obviously, over nine years a lot has happened and there has been pain and growth on both sides. What can I do to both excite her and bring back the spark, but also love her honestly for myself and for her? I know she loves me, but how can I help her to fall in love with me. Please help me. I do not want to lose her.
First of all, remember that relationships are not logical, cause-and-effect situations that adhere to the laws of physics. Most often, there seems to be no rhyme or reason for what is happening (My goal is to help men to understand what’s going on…).
If you want her to be interested in you, then you should probably do a few things:
1) Stop calling her.
2) Start dating other women, and let her know about it.
3) Act Cocky & Funny when she calls you.
4) Play hard to get… end conversations first, don’t call her back, etc.
5) Stop acting so nice and sensitive. I know that some of this stuff might sound like mind games, but you have a couple of choices: Be more interesting and become more attractive to her, or keep doing what you’re doing, and keep making her run. I hope this helps.
How do you find out if a girl is available? You seem to talk to women that you just met. How and when do you find out if they have a boyfriend or a husband.
Would you believe that one of my all-time very favorite questions is “Are you single?” If I’m interested in a girl, I’ll just stop, look her in the eyes, and in a casual tone say “Are you single?” If she is, she says “yes”, and if not, she says “no.” Sure, a woman will sometimes lie, but it’s such an unusual question, they usually answer honestly.
The key here is not to ask like you’re afraid, nervous, etc. It has to come across like you’re asking what time it is. Imagine that you’re asking your best friend what time it is… what tone of voice would you use? It would be cool, casual, and straightforward. Try this one, you’ll like it.